Missing You

Ahh!! I miss that lass. It has only been 10 days but each day seems like a lifetime to me. I will not see her for another 4 days at least. This is important to her work and I know that, but I cannot let go of the way I feel now. I didna think I would miss her so much. I felt that I would be back in control of my home and enjoy the quiet and peace without her threading through the house and in her office for hours on end, but now I realize that these are some of the things I have become used to hearing every day and now I miss her and the sound of life in this big place. Look, even the sun does not shine as if it knows she is gone and is sad for her not being here too. I stand at this veranda and look out so many times during the day hoping to see that she is coming back sooner than she said, but alas, I am standing alone. Watching the sheep down in the valley and the moutains off in the east. 

I wander from room to room not knowing what to do with myself. She has come into my very being and there is only thoughts of her to sustain me for these next few days. I donna know how I will do this lass, I donna know why I sent you away when I knew all I had to do was say   stay    stay   and let them come to you.  But I couldna do that to you. For I am starting to feel you so deepy in my heart. I hurt in my chest, when I should not feel anything there. I hurt in my dreams and canna rest for you are always there. Smiling at me and the wind rustling your hair and softly walking on the grass in the valley. There is no peace for me until you return and I can see you again,.

Ahh! Lass, hurry back to me and this home. Do not let them talk you into staying longer for I dread being alone now. You have become my salvation. More than that. You have become more than I thought possible to me. Is this real?  This overwhelming longing for you? Can I be capable of all these many feelings I feel?  I donna know. All I know is I miss you. Hurry back. Hurry back. If you can hear me lass, hurry back.

JOurney to the city

I decided to sit at this desk today and read all this mail that is going to fall off the desk pretty soon if I don't get to it soon.

I had sent in a folder of poems that my publisher asked me to send and there is a letter from her here that I had better open and read.

She says that this one poem that I wrote is perfect for the piece that the city newspaper is going to write on the subject of Happiness. It seems that they have a contest running and she has entered that poem in the contest and they have informed her that I have won . How wonderful is that?  I am pleased that they liked it and she wants me to come to the city because they want to do a story on me and take pictures and I will be taken out for the celebration and given a plaque and it will have my poem on it. The poem will be syndicated and put in all the newspapers that Mr. Jones owns. She wants to know if I can come and stay for about two weeks so that after all the ceremonies with the paper ,she and I can go over this book that I am writing about Cutters Cove. The papers I have already sent her have made her anxious to talk to me and see the outline I have made for the book. Also if I have any more written she wants to see that also.

Wow! I am honored and yet I hate to leave. I am happy but sad. I don't understand. I should be thrilled that I have this opportunity to let myself be seen and it will help sell my books for me if people see me and remember me. I hate leaving here. I wish they could come here instead.

I think I will go for a walk on the beach and look at that magnificent for masted boat that sailed into the cove today. It is about 65 feet long or more and it is a boat that takes people on it for vacations touring around the ports. It is so huge and beautiful. There are alot of boats in the cove today. It is a perfect day for sailing. I will walk down there and just calmly think about how happy I feel that I have won. I am happy about winning. Especially since I didn't know I entered.

(Well, were did that lass go now? Oh! I see her walking down to the beach and cove. She works to hard it will be good for her. I will not bother her now. Ahhh, I see she finally is looking over her mail. I have never seen anyone like her before. Usually people tear at their mail. She just pushes it in a pile until it is ready to tumble to the floor and then she wearily gets to it. Whats this on the floor here?  Seems like a poem. Let me see, ahhhh, yes it is a poem . I wonder what she wrote. I will sit down and read it.

BEAUTIFUL TO ME
By Janice Marie

Getting up just before the sun rises and watching as it does
Seeing its glory and brilliance shinning from above
Looking out into the fields and admiring the acres of wildflowers
Gently waving back and forth in the breeze
Rainbows of colors stretching as far as the eye can see
All of this just waiting for us to enjoy and all of it for free

A walk along the beach letting the sand sift through our toes
Feeling its softness and silkiness as we slowly stroll
Gazing out at the water as it glistens in its slumber
Looking like a sheet of glass not a ripple to be seen
Just the silence and sweetness of the sea
Gentle lapping as the water touches the shore

Mountains reaching up into the clouds covered with snow
While we all gaze in wonderment here down below
Dressed on its sides with trees in different shades of green
Acres of wildflowers thrown here and there in between
No artist alive could paint a picture of this glorious scene
In wonderment we look upon this creation by a superior being

Not judging people by their outer appearances
Because all their beauty lies within their heart
Strength, kindness, honesty, doesn’t show on ones face
It is deep within the heart that is its home base
Given freely and without expecting anything in return
Hands reaching out and holding on as our hearts yearn

These are the beautiful things that I see everyday
As I go about my work and when I am at play
There is beauty abounding all you have to do
Is open your heart and eyes and look around you
Embrace what has been given to you within reach
And by doing so maybe others we will be able to teach

 

Well, this is really wonderful and this letter attached says that her publisher has sent it in and she has won. She has to go to New York for about two weeks to take care of all her business. Two whole weeks!! I will miss her terribly.  Ahh here comes the lass now. I will put these back and pretend I haven't seen them. I will go and come back in the office in a bit.)

Wow! I don't know what to do, maybe I should call her and ask if they can come here or if she would like to come here and stay and work with me on this book. I don't want to leave. I really don't.

I looked up and there was the Captain standing in front of me with a scowl on his face and those eyes penetrating through me, his hands on his hips and legs spread apart. What is wrong now?

"Well lass, did ya have a nice walk then? You seem to be out of sorts, what is bother ing you ?"the Captain said.

I explained all about the letter and my publisher and having to leave for New York for two weeks and that I didn't want to go. I rather they come here and let me stay in my home.

The Captain just shook his head and stood his ground. "I'll not be having a bunch of people staying in me house, you will go and take care of your business and then return when it is all done." "Do ya understand me lass?" "If they come here I will not have the run of my own home and I will not have that.""Besides you have been coped up here for ever and need a break." "So now, lass, you be calling that publisher of yours and find out when you are to be there and get your stuff together and go." "The sooner you go the faster you can come back and I'll be watching over things for you here, you can be sure of that."

I reluctantly picked up the phone and dialed the number and talked to my publisher and we made the plans for me to leave the next day and be in New York and get everything settled. I looked up and the Captain was standing by the patio window with his hands behind his back and just staring out at thecove.

I told him that I had to go and pack and they were making all the plane reservations for me and I would leave in the morning. He never turned around and never said one word. But as I walked out of the room I heard him say very softly,"I will be waiting for you lass, hurry back to me."

Saved from the Ocean

Oh! today I did a foolish thing! It was so beautiful in the cove and I decided that I would go for a swim and so I hurried and got my suit on and went down to the sandy beach area.

The wind had picked up and the waves were roaring as they rolled into the shore, but I had always loved the roar of the waves and I have always loved jumping and diving in them. I spread out my blanket on the sandy beach and put my umbrella up and my container of drinks and my book on the blanket. My towel I tossed down too as I ran down the beach and jumped into the frothy waves as they came rolling into the shore. I hadn't realized that they were quite that strong or high. They didn't seem that high from the house, but now that I was in the water they looked awful big as they were coming in. I got a little frightened and I wanted to get out and back to shallow water as I had drifted out quite a bit and I  was having a very hard time swimming because as I swam back the waves were taking me futher out. I started to panic and yelled for help hoping against hope that someone would hear me before I was taken so far out that I would drown. With each huge wave that came in I couldn't help swallow some water and it was hard to hold my breath as they cascaded over me. I yelled a few more times, and then I felt so weak from fighting, that I just tried floating to see if I could retain some of my strength.

All of  a sudden out of nowhere, I was lifted up and a very strong musculer arm was around my neck and holding my head above water. I started to panic and a voice said."Nay! Lass!! Stop that now! I've come to rescue you from the depths of this ocean." "Just float in my arm and let me take ya to shore ya silly woman."

I immediately relaxed because I recognized that it was the Captain and he was here to help me. He got me back to shore and lifted me up and carried me to the blanket and laid me down on it very gently. He sat down next to me as I coughed and coughed and he took out one of my water bottles and told me to have a drink and wash my mouth out of the salt water and spit it out. I did as he told me and it did help alot. I was tired and so ashamed for causing so much trouble. If he hadn't seen me I know I would have drowned and it was my fault, I knew better than go out when the waves were so high and roaring with the winds whipping the trees branches around.

He sat and looked at me with those piercing eyes of his and he had such a worried look on his face as he asked me how I was and if I was ok. When I said I was okay but that I felt dumb for what I had done and that how lucky  I was that he had come along I could see his eyes cloud over as his worried look turned to anger.

"Lass, it was by dumb luck that I heard you yell for help." "I was looking out the window of your office and wondering where you had gone to, when I decided to take a walk on the beach and enjoy the wind and listen to the roar of the waves as they crashed into the shore." "That is why I heard you yell and it took me a few minutes to find you out there in those huge waves. I dove right in and came for you." "Ya silly lass, donna ya be doing that again, you scared me half to death.",He said.

When he said that I looked at him and he must have realized what he just had said and we both laughed. He was dead wasn't he? We laughed and laughed and he stopped suddenly and pulled me into his arms and held me tightly and made me promise never to do such a foolish thing again. I did promise. I had no intention of living those moment ever again.  I liked being held in his arms. He was strong and musculer and he smelled like the ocean and the wind.

As he held me he gently brushed his lips over my head and kissed my forehead, as he said so softly that I almost didn't hear him."Don't be scaring me like that again lass, I donna want to lose you too." "I have become very attached to you being here with me."

Then he let me go and looked in my eyes for what seemed forever as I felt the shock waves from that sweet kiss on my forehead.  Oh! How I was starting to have feelings for this man. What was I going to do, after all he is a ghost,? Right?

He smiled that beautiful smile of his and he got up and gave me his hand and pulled me up and started to gather my things and told me that I had enough adventure for one day. We walked back up to the house and he didn't say another word all the way back. Myself, I was speechless too. I just walked along side of him and quietly had my own thoughts. He looked magnificent in his jeans and his muscled and wet body were a sight any women would sigh at. His long black wet hair glistened in the afternoon sun, and I could see red highlights in it that I had not noticed before. His mother had red hair and his sister Mary too. So , he had a little of his mothers color of hair. What a beautiful family they were I thought as we neared the house and he helped me carry the things and put them in the kitchen. 

When I turned to thank him, he was gone. That man frustrates me sometimes. One minute he is helping me and the next he is holding me and kissing me and then he is scowling at me and being angry at me. But this confounded disappearing without warning is the worst. I wish he would have stayed so I could have really thanked him for helping me. Well, the next time I see him I will be sure to do so.

Now for a nice hot bath and rest. I am all tired out from fighting those waves and I feel like a fool for going in them when I knew they were dangerous. Thank Goodness for the Captain or I wouldn't be able to write all this down for you to read.  Time for a bath, I am all salty and I feel as if I drank half the ocean too.